Rats!

[Fat Bob]

Looks like I've got a rat or mouse infection. Little bastards nicked some of my biscuits for work last night, also nibbled through a banana and grapes! Little bastards.

So, what's the best way to get rid of them? DIY or get someone in?

[Morrolan]

a coal sack and some bricks...

[Burbage]

a coal sack and some bricks...

[Kooky]

Ah, you see, what you need is a cat.

[BoD]

bread dipped in rat poison. Google claim that they like bacon, but I found bread best.

Call pest control. Try ABJ 6382 2655

[BFG]

Ah, you see, what you need is a cat.

...and then a sack and some bricks...

[BoD]

You can try onanism though, It might well shock them to death

[Kooky]

Thinks...I could send round the one that bullies my wussies every night.

[canuck]

um move?

[Bender]

Here are some recipes you may wish to try:

Enchiladas El Mouse-o

Ingredients:

• 6 corn tortillas
• 6 mice parboiled, stripped, boned, chopped, seasoned
• 2-3 large red dried chillis soaked in water 5 min
• 1 chopped green onion
• cilantro for decorating
• oil
• onions
• salt & pepper to taste

Method:

• Make regular enchilada sauce by grinding the soaked chillis in the pot liquor, and straining well to separate the chilli skin from the red meat.
• Fry onions and throw sauce in for l minute. Set aside
• Heat tortillas on a greased skillet, drop into sauce until covered, pull out, then fill the sopping wet tortilla with about 2 tbsps. mouseburger and roll up.
• Set rolls in a dish, line all six up.
• Pour remaining sauce on top and decorate with any old cheese and 1 chopped green onion
• Bake l5 min at 350

SHEPHERD's PIE

Not every shepherd can dice a lamb every time his belly rumbles. So many have learned to make do with diced field mice.

Take 4 potatoes, boil, mash, season, add cream, mash some more, line 8" pieshell with them.

Boil six medium sized mice. Rats are ok if you know what they've been eating. No Buick upholstery or graveyards.

If the rodents are the right size, you should have a cup of rat meat (depending if you've cleaned the carcasses well enough.) Season with salt, pepper, cayenne, add l cup blanched, chopped almonds, l cup cracker crumbs, l egg, (reserve l tsp for topping) making a burger. OPTIONAL: bell pepper, onions, cilantro, parsley, thyme, oregano, l can creamed corn, l can of those crunchy chinese things, water chestnuts, chopped olives, a dash of catsup or tomato sauce.

Fill the pie. Cover with more potatoes. Use egg/cream to wipe down pie so it toasts brownish in oven.

Remember, a rabbit is just a big rodent. The taste of the flesh is identical. Ask any concentration camp visitor.

TIP: when cooking rodents, pre-soaking up to 5 hours helps take away that pesky rodent flavor. AND the longer you cook it, with the other ingredients, the better the meat tastes.

[sluggo]

FB, the problem with poison is that the buggers will run off somewhere in you place and die. The stink will drive you crazy. Try mouse traps.

[slinky]

Couldn't it be lizards and not necessarily mice?

[Fat Bob]

Last night they stole a packet of biscuits. Not one biscuit, but a whole pack that had been left out for me to bring to work. Maid found the wrapper and a chewed up rug in the toilet area.

Wee bastards.

[Fat Bob]

a coal sack and some bricks...

Gotta catch teh fuckers first. Hmmmm...humane traps....so I can then use a coal sack and bricks and the nearby storm drain! Cool idea!

[Kooky]

They're doing you a favour, Bobbity - too many packets of biscuits and you'll be an honorary Aussie.

[Possum]

A whole packet That is scary!

[Burbage]

Maybe you have a woman living in your kitchen.

[BoD]

Old-style rat poison just kills them slowly, so they go off and die somewhere and gently rot. Some of the newer stuff kills them by expanding (and making their stomachs explode) when they drink water - killing them v quickly. Since rats generally go outside (apparently) to drink, this avoid the smell problem

[Burbage]

Just get a cat FB.

[Fat Bob]

Just get a cat FB.

No thanks, I'm not gay.

[Burbage]

You think having a cat would make you gay? You can't be very certain of your sexuality. Perhaps you should seek counselling.

[Fat Bob]

No, I'm very certain of my sexuality.

Single man, with cat = gay.
Single man, without cat = straight.

I looked at those equations and worked out very quickly whether I was gay or not. Simple!

Ah, maybe it's your sexuality you're worried about! Having to appear butch and using only a 2-bladed razor, and that's because they don't sell single-bladed ones anymore.....being butch and telling everyone that you can use all four remote controls....

[Burbage]

You're not fooling anyone you know. Go and stay with kooky in Sydney. There are people there you can talk to.

[Fat Bob]

There's Kooky and the cats. The cats aren't people, and I've spoken to Kooky before. I'm still straight. Or at least I was teh last time I had the oppurtunity!

[Burbage]

So defensive! There's nothing whatsoever to be ashamed about. People come out all the time. You just have to do it.