Facebook - what's your take?

[Lili Von Shtupp]

It's coming time for a school reunion, and so I've recently been contacted by a girl I went to high school with who's on the reunion committee. She's a shallow busybody and I never cared for her but she sent me an email that basically said, "Oh, fabulous Lili! How come you're not on Facebook?! You need to get on it, I'm there with such-and-such and so-and-so..."

Y'know, I would just like to take a moment to talk about Facebook, because I've been thinking a lot about it lately. I've had a number of people bug me about getting on Facebook. One friend, I was so annoyed, I asked her to send me an email photo of her son and she said, Oh all the pics are on Facebook, sign up and you can see them!

Well, maybe I don't want to join fuckin' Facebook. I just want to see a photo of your kid. And maybe I'd rather have a real email sent from you rather than catch up on your news that you've posted for all your millions of friends to view. Fuckin-A, as if email hasn't made it so friggen easy to keep in touch, now people can't even take the time to make it personal? I'm really turned off by Facebook. Oh, I don't have time for you, but if you log onto Facebook you can see all you need to know there, nicely presented with photos, diagrams and a Google Earth image of my house. Thanks, it was great to hear from you!

I don't know, I am really resisting this whole thing. And yet one close friend is having the best time contacting and being contacted by funny people from school days, another college friend is in touch with some crazy people we used to know, my entire family is on it, and everybody's having the best time. And I think, y'know that could be cool, to keep up with family and hook up with old friends and what not - there are people out there I'd like to know whatever happened to.

But then I think, if I ever did have a Facebook page, what the hell would I write about myself? Do I really feel like being so self-indulgent? Then I become self-conscious and think what people might think when they read what I've written or look at photos - there are those who will judge.

Because you know that's what they do. Sure, many will read and smile and feel glad to know that life's been pretty cool for me, but we all know there are people out there who prowl Facebook looking for ways to feel better about themselves. Maybe they feel better because they have more friends than you. Maybe they feel better because you've gained weight. For whatever reason, I believe that for many, Facebook is the ultimate schauenfreude frenzy. I just don't want to put myself and my family and friends out there for that kind of reception.

I know it sounds paranoid and negative, and I was actually thinking after hearing about how much fun other people are having on it, "Y'know maybe it's time to stop being a wet blanket and just sign up for it already." But then hearing from this awful girl from high school just brought it all back home for me. As if she really friggen cared. Join Facebook so I can catch up with long lost friends? Maybe there's a reason why they're long lost.

Maybe I'm all wrong. Am I a curmudgeon? Too jaded? I'm just not in the mood. Who knows, maybe someday I'll join and say - wow I should have done this sooner. Or maybe I'll just get a t-shirt that says Fuck Facebook.

[Fat Bob]

And maybe you should take some soap and water and wash your mouth out! Or wash your keyboard anyhow!

[BFG]

I don't think that there is a rule that says you have to like Facebook.

Being a miserable old git, I take it as a matter of pride that I don't have an account.

I like my friends to be people I actually know and like.

Bizarre, I know....

[chocolate]

I do know what you are saying about it being impersonal however, everyone is so busy these days, if I didn't have facebook i'd have lost touch with a lot of people since leaving Singapore and moving across the other side of the world. I barely have time to deal with my work emails don't mind personal.

The way I look at it is, you can keep in contact easily with everyone, a few comments here and there keeps you touching base with people, and those that are really important/closer to you , well you are going to phone/email them more often/drop more frequent comments on their facebook pages.

Also, for those that you don't want noseying around everything you have done or are doing, you can work your privacy settings to keep them off certain sections of your page.

Plus, you don't actually have to write anything about yourself, you can leave most of the info blank.

I see the disadvantages, you get lazy and everyone communicates through facebook, however, I caught up with about 10 people in Singapore yesterday in 10 minutes. Quick scan, i know what's going on with them, say hi etc.......

[Zephyr]

Lili, here's my take on it. I had similar reservations about the whole thing and then a friend who was on a forum that I was on, moved away and kept asking me to get on it as a means of staying in touch. I made some queries and learnt that I could keep my profile completely private even down to my picture not being visible in a general search as well as my list of friends' from the general public. I opted to put pretty limited information on my profile and only people in my circle of friends can view any of this information. I'm pretty selective about who I invite as it's really about quality versus quantity for me as well; people I share a vibe with and who I don't have a problem viewing my stuff etc.

I've been a member about a month now and so far so good. Having said all that however, I've cautioned my son about the kind of information he puts out there. Just a couple of days ago, I read about a girl in the UK who was fired from her job seemingly because she had made some comments on FB about her job which her employer had read.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/engl ... 914415.stm

I also had some concerns about what I had read about FB's policies, where one's personal pictures and information were deemed to belong to FB even after one had deleted one's account. There have been some changes to this recently after there was a public outcry. Google probably has some info on this.

[Kooky]

I joined quite early on, mainly to have a nosey round, didn't see the point, and had already deleted my details from Friends Reunited (Classmates in the US?) after the initial novelty and realising there was a reason I lost contact with everyone as soon as I left school. Also from a professional networking site after some strange Life Coach woman kept sending me hugs

Then a lot of my friends (my creepy internet friends - you lot) joined and kept inviting me - I'd joined with a dodgy name so they didn't know I was on there. Evenutally I got my name changed and tried to join in but the poking and vampire bite shit left me cold. People who hardly ever talk to me were asking me to join in their "fights". Um, no. I'm 46 FFS.

So eventually I deacivated my account - with hindsight I ccould have just tightened up the security and options, deleted all the applications I'd naively accepted. Then we moved here and friends kept telling me their photos and videos were on Facebook - sounds familiar, Lili? TBH I started to feel a bit left out when Neo would say, oh so and so has new photos on Facebook, have you seen them? Yep, Facebook seems to have taken away people's ability to email.

So reluctantly I've reactivated, tightened up what people can see (I think!) and ignore the pokes and shit. It's certainly not a big feature of my day but occasionally I'll look at photos, occasionally comment on them, although I'm still not interested in what you're all having for dinner. Sorry.

Facebook is not for loners.

[Bender]

I value my privacy, so no Facebook/MySpace/Whatever. Nothing on Flickr either. I'm just not interested. Maybe it's an age thing, or maybe it's a product of the "cult of celebrity" thing where everyone gets their 15 minutes, but I prefer my friendships to be a bit closer, and like the telephone, letters and email for catching up. So much more than words can be communicated by phone.

I wonder how many people who have put up photos of themselves drunk/misbehaving/etc will regret it when those photos come back to haunt them in years to come?

[Kooky]

Isn't FB passe now, anyway? Everyone's Twittering.

[chocolate]

yea twitter, can't figure it out at all......

[Bender]

Google probably has some info on this.

...and much more!

[Tack]

Can't see myself ever looking at any of the online social groups. This is the only forum I have anything to do with. Just not interested. So unlike you Lili I'm not even wondering what I'm missing, I'm fairly sure it isn't anything that I'd enjoy. My sis-in-law can't believe I don't want to check out younger son's new girlfriend (son openly told me she was on there to view) but other son and Mr T have met her before they were an item and their views are enough. I'm not very interested in photos either so can't see any point.

[BettyBoo]

I just got back to FB and it is working well for me.

I was completely overwhelmed at first. Too many people were interested in my life and that made me uncomfortable. Tag on the sheep throwing, intergalactic battles with Hello Kitty and virtual races etc– FFS, I don’t even exercise in real life.

So I decided to keep friends that I like, not because we knew each other in primary school. It is a good way to keep in touch with them, especially those who are not in Australia. FB seems to narrow the distance a little and I enjoy their photos and stories.

Ps: The culling process was actually more fun than the add requests. A lot of people take it very personally when you reject them hehe.

[Fat Bob]

I must say, I can't see why people hold strong views one way or the other. Either Facebook or don't, it's a choice.

Personally I don't use Facebook much. There's a few photos of me on there but not the thousands others have. Probably because I take photos rarely myself and don't tend to be too worried about being in photos on a night out or something.

However, I do use it. I know people can't afford to send me a personal email every time little Johnny uses the potty, and really, I'm thankful for that. This means the info gets out there for people to see, and it probably wouldn't have got out there anyhow.

OK, there's some crap photos on there indeed. I must say, I'm a lot more selective in what photos I would put up than what others seem to be. That's a little bit about discreteness and a little about quality.

But do take a chill pill. It's not worth bursting a blood vessel over!

[Snaffled]

I use Facebook and find it really useful. It has nothing to do with good friends and has in no way impacted my relationship with them or how I communicate with them. It has however been great to get back in touch with people I either worked with or knew from years ago that I had unfortunately lost touch with. I work in hotels and so a lot of people I worked with tend to move countries every few years and it is more difficult to stay in touch. Its also been great to see from peoples' updates that they may be coming to town & I've met old acquaintances that I wouldn't otherwise have managed to.

Certainly there are elements like all the applications that I don't use but I wouldn't rule out the entire thing because of that. I don't like Carlsberg, but I don't refuse to go to pubs just because they serve it - there are other options.

[BoD]

As far as I can see, them main use of Facebook is to find out how much Choco has had to drink and how her love life isn't going

[Fat Bob]

The answer to the first is lots, the answer to the second is like her toes.

[chocolate]

As far as I can see, them main use of Facebook is to find out how much Choco has had to drink and how her love life isn't going

that's low, even for you! (and i'm short)

[Kooky]

But do take a chill pill. It's not worth bursting a blood vessel over!

Very true. Been thinking that since I wrote my post, and I certainly don't stress about it, but I have to say it seems to be part of most people's lives so can't ignore it.

[BoD]

just call me lichty

[slinky]

I've recently enjoyed catching up with people I knew way back, so it's been entertaining. I don't download all the extra programs & other crap because half the time I don't know what it's for anyway And, it seems that's a good thing because I just read yesterday, I think, that hackers are or have used those programs to try and get info from unsuspecting people on Facebook. I've also set privacy settings where only people who are in my friends list can see my photos --- something I've noticed A LOT of people don't do because I end up with some friend's of friend's (people I don't know at all) photos in my news feed.

But, I agree with FB ( ) if you don't want to use it, don't. It is - and should be - totally up to you. Who knew we'd still be subject to peer pressure at age '32,' huh. Lili

[chocolate]

just call me lichty

don't worry, i will!

[Burbage]

I think it's as useful as you make it.

We have politicians here trying to use it for the first time as an easy way onto the web for the State election in QLD. They don't appear to have understood the principle of it being a two way process.

[Lili Von Shtupp]

I knew I'd get some good opinions from you people, including the one about my potty mouth. I figured after seeing what some of those banana smilies are doing over there, you people can handle a few expletives in the Rant Room.

Tack, Bender, I'm the same, Singaporum is really the only Internet social thing I do (with a few guilty peeks at the AB for fun ). Myspace, Blogspot, LiveJournal etc. never got into them.

Zeph, Kooks, many thanks for the information about limiting information to only certain viewers - I know I will eventually do it, and knowing that I have options makes me feel a little comforted. And Slinks, about the extra programs etc, I also read that report. Yikes. That's a good warning.

I don't know. I'm torn. It could be a lot of fun, but I may be too private a person to truly enjoy it. But, really, I have to stop and be honest with myself. It's not like I'm all that, and the entire world's going to be crashing my party just to see what little Lili Von Shtupp has to say about today.

But thanks, everyone, at least now I feel like I can go into with my eyes open to some of the issues.

[T2K]

Here's why I got on FB, in order of priority:

1. Event Photos. I don't bring cameras to parties or other events very often, and if I want pictures I need to be on FB because they will all be there. It's a good way to share photos with people you choose to share them with. Without having to jam their email inbox with 6MB attachments.

2. Email Contacts. If people use FB, they keep their email address updated there. So, you can easily reach them through there. Whereas otherwise their email addresses may not be valid anymore in your address book.

That's all. Sending 'pokes', playing 'who's hot' or some zombie or vampire thing...? No idea. They all get immediately ignored.

[Kooky]

So I decided to keep friends that I like

A person not one of your Facebook friends could take that pesonally.