Darwin Awards 2013
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- Lili Von Shtupp
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Darwin Awards 2013
A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.
- baloo
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
Speechless.
So…if you wish to wish a wish, you may swish for fish with my Ish wish dish.
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
the brother and cousin when kids walked past a bloke down at the beach side doing that to a tree...shame he was the only nasty inside (needless to say they couldn't decide whether to be completely shocked or giggle as they informed the mother unit and she called police)
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
No! You think??"To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea," Siv During Livh, a psychologist and expert on sex fantasies told the news website.
- Morrolan
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
i just saw this. funny. it's also not true...
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
That's good to know because I was having some difficulty accepting anyone could be that stupid and depraved, actuallyMorrolan wrote:... it's also not true...
- Morrolan
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
I know, right?slinky wrote:That's good to know because I was having some difficulty accepting anyone could be that stupid and depraved, actuallyMorrolan wrote:... it's also not true...
- Lili Von Shtupp
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
OK, OK, to make up for the Horny Hornet Hoax, here's a good giggle.
A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
I knew someone had to end up in there sooner or later!
"No man is above the law and no man is below it: nor do we ask any man's permission when we ask him to obey it."
-Theodore Roosevelt
-Theodore Roosevelt
- baloo
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
Not sure if he's a novice rider or the throttle is stuck.
Or staged.
Or staged.
So…if you wish to wish a wish, you may swish for fish with my Ish wish dish.
- Lili Von Shtupp
- Part of the furniture
- Posts: 4437
- Joined: 7th Mar, '08, 09:38
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Re: Darwin Awards 2013
Such a cynic! Can't a person just be an idiot anymore?baloo wrote:Not sure if he's a novice rider or the throttle is stuck.
Or staged.
A woman walked into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
It reminded me of a very drunk person walking (staggering, running into stuff, getting helped up and doing it again)...except on a motorbike.
"No man is above the law and no man is below it: nor do we ask any man's permission when we ask him to obey it."
-Theodore Roosevelt
-Theodore Roosevelt
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
Ive spent enough time in regional China that I thought it was thoroughly believable and still find hard to consider as a set up!
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
That video with bike accident.. really, the winner
Re: Darwin Awards 2013
This one is a random post from Facebook, very funny.
--------------
Our society is doomed..............
IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
They walk among us......and they VOTE.
--------------
Our society is doomed..............
IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"
She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,MS
IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS
IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING
How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha".
When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent."
SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.
If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
They walk among us......and they VOTE.