What a difference a moment makes

Fuzz · Post by **Fuzz** » 28th Feb, '08, 21:46

I was focusing on the slight fever that I had and thinking about my plans for the weekend when I received a phone call from my second sister. Immediately I had a sinking feeling that she might tell me about mum or dad, and didn't expect her to say my younger brother's name in between sobs ...

Yes, my younger brother passed away today - the baby in the family. Apparently he fell down while he was painting his house ... he had an enlarged heart last year and went to hospital beforehand and I don't know whether he had a heart attack or if he slipped. He was only 34, leaving his wife and three young kids who were too young to know that their daddy would not return home ...

Grief is such a strange thing - I didn't cry when I heard the news from my sister, but after it sank in, I had a good cry on the sofa and when my older brother and my sisters called me from Indonesia. It's as if my pain rose up to meet theirs - we could only cry together on the phone. I felt so helpless for being so far away from them - nobody to share the grief and nobody to hug who REALLY understand how I feel. I held myself pretty well afterwards, and when I packed my stuff - but when my Pastor called me and just said things like 'Our condolences', I ended up crying again.

I could still remember the fights that we had when we were kids - and how I envied him for being good with his hands, for being a real 'boy' who roamed the neighbourhood and climbed the roof of our house to fly his kites. In turn, he also envied me for being the brainy one, for being the one favoured by my Dad for getting good marks at school. He didn't get to study overseas, I did.

So tomorrow I'd be heading back to Indonesia ...

cromasaig · Post by **cromasaig** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:01

I'm so, so sorry. There doesn't seem to be anything else I can say.

FurBaby · Post by **FurBaby** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:17

oh, Fuzzy. my prayers are with you and your family. God be with you all.

Scrummy Mummy · Post by **Scrummy Mummy** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:19

You poor love. You must be devastated. Hugs xxx

Monkey Hanger · Post by **Monkey Hanger** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:35

Fuzz, so sorry to hear that. Big hug from Lux.

Possum · Post by **Possum** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:40

My thoughts are with you xox

baloo · Post by **baloo** » 28th Feb, '08, 22:46

I'm so sorry Fuzz. Our thoughts are with you.

Fyn · Post by **Fyn** » 28th Feb, '08, 23:01

Oh Fuzz, I am so sorry. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs.

Tack · Post by **Tack** » 28th Feb, '08, 23:29

How dreadful Fuzz, I wish you and your family all the strength and love you need in the next few days and onwards.
Take care
T x

Blossom · Post by **Blossom** » 28th Feb, '08, 23:32

My thoughts are with you.

Queenie · Post by **Queenie** » 28th Feb, '08, 23:50

My condolences, Fuzz. Bon voyage tomorrow.

Joy · Post by **Joy** » 28th Feb, '08, 23:56

Sending love and light your way...

Pinklepurr · Post by **Pinklepurr** » 29th Feb, '08, 00:00

Don't know what else to say, except to send big hugs to you.

sluggo · Post by **sluggo** » 29th Feb, '08, 00:37

Fuzz so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my older brother last summer to lung cancer. He was 56. Its so difficult when they are so young. My prayers are with you and your family.

Fuzz · Post by **Fuzz** » 29th Feb, '08, 01:02

Thank you all - I guess it helps a bit for me to be open on how I feel. Thank you for the kind words, and thank you for the poem (you know who you are). *hugs*

Its 3.30am here in Adelaide - I've had a restless night, but at least I had clocked in at least two hours of sleep. It's true when they say that you wish you were in a dream; in between dozing off I woke up and wondered whether it was just a bad dream. Your swollen eyes and your heavy heart remind you, alas, it is the reality from now on. I have lost a brother.

Grief is like a thick fog that descends to every room and leaves a mark on the wall that says 'Death was here'. I can't chase it away - not just yet.

Zephyr · Post by **Zephyr** » 29th Feb, '08, 02:44

Oh Fuzz, so very sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences to you and your family.

Have a safe journey ahead.

daffodil · Post by **daffodil** » 29th Feb, '08, 04:44

So very sorry to hear your sad news, Fuzzy. Take care, safe journey and a big hug.

Morrolan · Post by **Morrolan** » 29th Feb, '08, 06:29

ah, mate, i'm so sorry for you, i heard it from Fyn.

there's nothing i can say, my thoughts are with you.

Bender · Post by **Bender** » 29th Feb, '08, 06:35

Sending you hugs and courage. Safe travels. B.

Tas · Post by **Tas** » 29th Feb, '08, 07:10

Fuzz, awful news. Can only relate emotionally to what happened when my parents called me at work Monday morning in November last year and my father breaking down when he told me he had an aggressive cancer. Something in your world shatters, and nothing's quite the same as it was before ever again. So take some comfort in the outpouring of emotion and love that will come when you are together with your family in the next few days. Take care and travel safe.

slinky · Post by **slinky** » 29th Feb, '08, 07:56

So sorry, Fuzz. What a terrible thing. Good thoughts to you and your family.

Satellite · Post by **Satellite** » 29th Feb, '08, 09:16

I'm so sorry to hear that fuzz.

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 29th Feb, '08, 10:01

Sorry to hear the awful news Fuzz. There's nothing anyone can say or do, but I hope you get some strength from knowing we're thinking about you.

azzam · Post by **azzam** » 29th Feb, '08, 10:25

Hi Fuzz, my thoughts are with you too. I'm so sorry to hear it. Lots of love and hugs xxx

sundaymorningstaple · Post by **sundaymorningstaple** » 29th Feb, '08, 10:49

Fuzz, my condolences go out to you and your family.

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