Toddler Rebellion

kittykat · Post by **kittykat** » 2nd Jun, '08, 12:58

Baby KK is going through a phase where every morning when it's time to get ready for kindy he starts crying saying he doesn't want to go. I was worried that he was not happy at school but as soon as we get out the door he's happy and once he's on the bus he forgets who I am and merrily waves goodbye to me. It's more the fact he wants to stay at home than go to kindy.

This morning we were running late and it started "don't want to go..."... Bus coming in 8 mins and he's not had breakfast and is refusing to go in for a shower. I got angry and put him in his room for 4 minutes and let him cry. I then came in and said "your choice either you go to school or you stay at home and miss Barney on Thursday". Well that clearly upset him more (and what's worse when I walked in he'd wet his little pjs so I felt even worse as he must have been really distressed).

Now apart from feeling incredible guilty - I don't know how to handle the crying etc.. Do I let it go and let him cry knowing he'll come good or address it.

I feel lousy!

Burbage · Post by **Burbage** » 2nd Jun, '08, 13:00

Who the hell is Barney?

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 2nd Jun, '08, 13:14

I think consistency is the key. If you give in then that becomes the norm.

It is paiful sometimes, but children need boundaries and they need to now what is and is not acceptable. As long as he is not getting bullied or otherwise harmed at kindy, I would suggest that you are firm. He will eventually accept that this is the way it is.

To be honest, I can't see how a kindergarten student can make an informed decision - that's why they need parents...

Burbage · Post by **Burbage** » 2nd Jun, '08, 13:25

As for Barney, whatever he is. I presume this is something he enjoys. Perhaps a reward system would be better than a punishment system. The problem with this, these days, is that kids seem to get everything straightaway so it's hard to come up with rewards.

Kooky · Post by **Kooky** » 2nd Jun, '08, 13:39

My sister went through this with the youngest - she'd been the only one at home for so long, totally spoiled, already a lady wot lunches (gosh, Aunty Kooky was so proud!), and thought she'd be missing out on treats by going to school.

Not suggesting for a minute that my sister would ever make Mother of the Year, but she ended up taking R to school in her jarmies, giving her clothes to the teacher, and R would get dressed without a whimper. Once she realised she wasn't getting her own way, she stopped the morning tantrums.

Of course this takes an understanding teacher, but I'm sure they've all been through it umpteen times.

kittykat · Post by **kittykat** » 2nd Jun, '08, 13:54

Burbage wrote:As for Barney, whatever he is. I presume this is something he enjoys. Perhaps a reward system would be better than a punishment system. The problem with this, these days, is that kids seem to get everything straightaway so it's hard to come up with rewards.

Burb: Barney is a dinosaur that kids love. He's playing in Singapore this week and they are the hottest tickets for toddlers in town. I normally tell him that if he goes to school then he can watch one of his DVD's after he has his sleep so he knows there's a treat waiting when he comes home.

BFG: You make a lot of sense and consistency is a challenge to someone like me who's very much ruled by her emotions and mindset at the time. I think one thing we need to do is get him to bed earlier. He woke up this morning at 7.30am and the bus comes at 7.50am so it was all systems go.

Kooky: That's baby KK's problem - he loves being at home and likes a leisurely breakfast, bit of a play with his toys, long luxurious shower or bubble bath then on his way.

I'll look for the signs of stress and frustration and try to alleviate these.

Funny - within 2 minutes of giving him breakfast he was laughing and chatting to me. Walking to the bus he was in a great mood so I guess kids forget but it shouldn't be the norm in the mornings.

Aliya · Post by **Aliya** » 2nd Jun, '08, 14:40

Very spot on post for me. Ms A turned 1 on Saturday and suddenly out of the woodwork emerged a toddler complete with tantrums! Wow. Impressed that the Italian side of the family is making itself known. Last night found me reading "Taming Toddlers" after a day of sobs and smiles - alternating. I fully expect that behaviour soon and I think that you are all right, consistency is the key, nip behaviour in the bud while giving them daily consistency makes sense. Of course how to make it work every day is my challenge!

KK, what about getting up say 15 mins earlier to give him a bit more time??

kittykat · Post by **kittykat** » 2nd Jun, '08, 14:45

A - yes have issued instructions to the house that we all go to bed at 9.00pm and get up at 6.00am. When I move to Melbourne we need to be on the road by 7am so it will be good training.

Little Miss A is one spirited little darling. She's so aware of her surroundings. I picked her up on Sat as she'd crawled out to the porch which was a bit muddy. She looked and thought "who are you and why are you holding me?" Then she caught sight of you and and that was that!! Mummy, mummy - who's this lady - come rescue me!

Toddler Taming is on the list ot read!

Aliya · Post by **Aliya** » 2nd Jun, '08, 15:33

That little thing of mine is a MudWop

slinky · Post by **slinky** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:29

Can you change the bath/shower to evening before bed? It would be one less thing that has to be done in the morning to get ready. For me, the thought of doing the bath in the morning before school sounds like a nightmare - it can be enough to get breakfast done and get dressed for us.

Little Boy Slink once threw a major hissy-fit because his favorite Mickey Mouse t-shirt was unavailable to wear (it was in the laundry). And when I say 'major hissy-fit' I'm talking full-on screaming, tears and hysteria for something like half an hour

That day, I did keep him home from school but he had to stay in his room, by himself with little to no interaction from me (or the maid) until I brought his sister home from school at lunchtime. (Didn't want to reward the behavior in any way) We haven't had a hissy-fit of those proportions in the morning while getting ready for school since (that was at least a year ago, now).

Lili Von Shtupp · Post by **Lili Von Shtupp** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:36

slinky wrote:Little Boy Slink once threw a major hissy-fit because his favorite Mickey Mouse t-shirt was unavailable to wear (it was in the laundry). And when I say 'major hissy-fit' I'm talking full-on screaming, tears and hysteria for something like half an hour

Aaaaaaaand a great big Thank You to everyone here for preparing me for my future.

Aliya · Post by **Aliya** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:49

You terrified too I take it

baloo · Post by **baloo** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:50

That's it. No Mickey Mouse t-shirts for BBIII. problem sorted.

slinky · Post by **slinky** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:58

baloo wrote:That's it. No Mickey Mouse t-shirts for BBIII. problem sorted.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Baloo, but I'm pretty sure a 'favorite' shirt could just as easily be the 'plain blue one' or whatever. Kind of looking forward to school uniforms in August, actually

Tas · Post by **Tas** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:58

no batman, no fireman. no wiggles, no dorothy dinasaur, no random Japanese animae charactoer, no red, no white, no colour favourite colour T-shirst..... all t-shirts to be a uniform washable grey of the exact same cotton fabric for Baby Baloooo.....

Tas · Post by **Tas** » 2nd Jun, '08, 16:59

snap XX

slinky · Post by **slinky** » 2nd Jun, '08, 17:00

[smilie=gnigni.gif]

Lili Von Shtupp · Post by **Lili Von Shtupp** » 2nd Jun, '08, 17:01

Aliya, damn terrified!!!

Wolfie was around Ms A's age when he started to really test me. At first I was in shock - when did my sweet baby get posessed by Satan? Now I'm used to it - the testing comes in waves, I'm finding - and now I'm better prepared to deal with it when I see it coming. UNLESS I'm tired. I fail every test when I'm exhausted - that evil spawn pushes all my buttons!

But I think (I hope) I have become a little better about it as we go.

slinky · Post by **slinky** » 2nd Jun, '08, 17:05

It is VERY hard to react in a calm, efficient manner when 'the evil spawn'

are doing their best to push all the right buttons. My biggest failing is to yell back when they are yelling. Sometimes I am able to remain calm and simply march the offender to his/her room to cool off, but many times I let them turn it into a yell-fest between us

I even know better results come when I've remained calm

And you are so right, Lili, it's when I'm tired & worn out usually.

BFG · Post by **BFG** » 2nd Jun, '08, 19:46

I guess we were lucky. BFG Minor was very laid back (still is) and BFG Minorette wants to be her brother so is as laid back as he.

For now...

Bender · Post by **Bender** » 3rd Jun, '08, 05:55

Tas wrote:all t-shirts to be a uniform washable grey of the exact same cotton fabric

Jil Sander or Muji perhaps?

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